Jan Sims | Life Lessons from the Heart

The Collector – (Another Lesson from the School Grounds)

He was a collector.

He collected kids who were not overly interested in conventional subjects like English, math, and science. He took them into his shop class and taught them to weld, fix engines, and build barbecue grills.

He ran a tight ship. Students were expected to work, not play. He was a stickler for safety rules. No one was getting hurt on his watch.

He took kids no one else could handle and gave them skills to serve them well in life. He passed on his strict German work ethic to those he taught. Was he perfect? Did he make mistakes? None of us can lay claim to perfection, but he made a difference to so many.

In his fifties, he developed pancreatic cancer and passed away. At the vigil and the following day at the funeral service, present and former students filled the pews, along with many of his peers who loved and respected him.

The most touching moment at the funeral service was when several young men stopped and placed soapstones in his casket so even in death he could mark his way.

We never know what influences we have or how far they will reach. If we are lucky, the lessons we teach will long outlive us.

He was indeed a collector. He was also my friend.

Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity…

Titus 2:7 ESV

The Power of Your Words -Another Lesson from the Schoolhouse

As a teacher, I have made my share of mistakes. One that stands out is when one of my juniors turned in a paper saying he was going to play pro basketball when he graduated. I should have left it alone.

Instead I took it on myself to share that in twenty years of teaching, I never saw someone from a small school play on a pro team, and very few on a college team. That was true then and true twenty years later. The problem was that my words crushed his dream and did nothing to make either of us better people.

Teachers, parents, and friends should be dream builders, not dream shakers. There is a fine line between the two. Who knows when the right word will be the difference between success and failure? I have learned that life will supply its own disappointments without help from me.

The young man did not play ball in college or the Pros. Talent in a school of two hundred is different in a larger environment. While I do not think my words affected the outcome, they affected our relationship. I have carried that guilt of discouraging him for a long time. How easy would it have been to be an encourager instead of a naysayer!

A few years later, I read a book by Frances Littauer where she expressed that our words should be like silver boxes that hold a gift. Those words left their mark on me, for I long to be an encourager rather than a dream-stealer. My challenge for each of us is to make a positive impact on all those with whom we come into contact.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

Proverbs 9:11 KVJ

In 2020, Can You Finish Strong?

When my oldest son was an eighth grader, his football team had a very successful season. However, one evening, he came home in a blue funk. Typical mom, I asked him, “What’s the matter? You won the game!”

“Yeah, we won, but Coach yelled at us. He said that we should always run to the line of scrimmage, whether we were winning or losing. He said the game is never over until the last whistle blows, and we need to finish strong.”

That conversation took place a long time ago, and unfortunately, his high school seasons were not nearly as successful. However, the lesson is as true today as it was that fall evening. Like football, life isn’t easy. We determine whether we finish strong or trudge on, just hoping to finish.

As a young person or young adult, you may have your first encounter with harsh reality. As a middle-aged -adult, you may wonder if you have taken the right path. As a senior adult, like myself, you may wonder what new struggle awaits. Sometimes both the starting line and the finish line appear to be a long way off.

We would all agree that the last several months of 2020 have been difficult, and I doubt if any of us would want to replay the life game of the last few months. We are ready to establish a new normal and do it now! However, God commissioned us to run the race until we reach the finish line.

The writer of Hebrews tells us, “Let us run the race with endurance that God has set before us.” We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, even when the world seems to turn upside down.

Wherever you are in life today – struggling with a school year, facing challenges at home, in health, or in finances, or just needing to get to the line of scrimmage one more time, let me challenge you to depend on God to call the plays. You can’t ask for a better Coach.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished
the race, I have kept the faith.
2 Timothy 4:7 NIV

Make the Moments Count

In my college education class, I learned there are two types of student attention getters-pleasant and unpleasant. Both seek and receive attention. Many students passed through my classroom doors, and each of them left some kind of impression.

Adam was one of the pleasant ones. He did his work, had a great personality, and was popular with classmates, teachers, and coaches. He brightened my day by just being in class.

It was a tradition. If he missed class for any reason, he would greet me with a smile upon his return and ask, “Did you miss me, Mrs. Sims?” I always did.

As a relatively new driver, Adam made a fatal mistake one winter morning on his way to school. He didn’t wait for his car windows to defrost completely, and as he pulled on to the highway, his car collided with another vehicle. He died instantly.

That evening I called my son, who was away at college. I was so angry! Why Adam? I thought I knew so many people who just took up space in this world. I could not fathom why God allowed this young man to die before he reached his potential. Heartbroken, I poured out my anger and frustration. I will never forget my son’s reply.

“Look at it this way, Mama. If you were having someone over for dinner, would you rather have Adam or some jerk? Do you think God is any different?”

I didn’t have the answer then, nor do I have one now. I still don’t understand why bad things happen to good people, but I am sure of one thing. God has promised He has a place prepared in heaven for those who love and trust in Him. In His infinite mercy, He gives others the time to discover His forgiveness and grace.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learned is that it is not my place to sit in judgment. Shakespeare said, “Life is but a walking shadow.” It is our responsibility to make sure that shadow reflects God’s love and mercy in whatever time He allows us on this earth. We must make our moments count.

Adam’s seat remained empty for the rest of the year. Life went on and new classes would come and go. But, some twenty-five years later, if he could ask me again, I would still have to say, “Yes, Adam, I missed you.”

In fact, I still do.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

Matthew 7:1

Eyes to See

One day stands out as one of the most awe-inspiring of my teaching career. One of my students had such limited vision that the school considered her legally blind. The special ed teacher did some extensive research and discovered a device called a monocular and ordered it in to help her with her schoolwork.

When the device arrived at the school, the teacher was so excited that she brought it to my classroom for the student to try immediately. It still takes my breath away when I remember that young girl’s reaction to seeing things for the first time.

She looked at the ceiling tiles exclaimed excitedly, “Mrs. Sims, there are holes in the ceiling!” Next, she moved to the window, and asked, “Are those leaves on the tree? I’ve never seen leaves before.” The class sat spellbound as she searched the room for new things to examine, exclaiming in pure joy over her discoveries.

The experience moved me to my very core. She was ecstatic about things I had so often taken for granted. I sat under the ceiling tiles for years and never marveled at the holes. I passed that tree outside on my way into the building every day, but I never rejoiced in its leaves until I saw them through that teenage girl’s eyes. In that magical moment, I thought I would never take little things for granted again.

However, life happens, and unfortunately, I still miss those little joys thirty years later. I claim busyness, when, in fact, I have tunnel vision. In staring ahead, I miss the beauty God has created right beside me. A 16th-century philosopher said, “There is none so blind as he who will not see.”

That young woman is an adult and living on her own. I do not know her story since she left my classroom years ago, but every time I see her, she is smiling. I believe that even with her limited sight, she sees more than I.

So today, while that memory is fresh on my mind, I want to look for holes in the ceiling tiles, smiles on faces, and rainbows after the rain. I want to see afresh the wonders God has prepared for me each day. I hope you will, too.

And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all people will see it together. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Isaiah 40:5

Train up a Child

My freshman English class was unusually loud as I entered the classroom. I asked what was going on and several students spoke at once. A class favorite had gotten in trouble at home after not calling before going out to eat after a ballgame. His mother had grounded him for what his classmates thought was forever and a day.

After much discussion, one student finally said, “Is she crazy or what? He’s the best kid in the school.”

Wow! What a compliment from a peer group. It was true. He was a long-distance runner, a member of the student council, a football player, a hard-working student, a debater, and an all-round good kid.

I thought for a moment and then replied, “Maybe the reason he’s the best kid in the school is that has a mother that cares so much.”

The grounding eventually ended. The young man matured even more and never lost his popularity with his fellow students. We spent a lot of time together in class, student council, and three years of debate, which made me appreciate him even more. He was a particular favorite of mine. Time passes, and it has been a long time since we spoke in person, but he left footprints on my heart.

Today he is an executive for a food store chain, and I am sure he continues to be one of the best men in his current peer group.

Discipline is never fun; however, I am convinced that this young man grew in wisdom and in stature because of caring parents who supported him but held on to their own expectations.

In fact, in today’s out-of-control world, we probably need far more “crazy” moms and dads who care enough to instill responsibility, courtesy, and respect in their children.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will

not depart from it. ”

Proverbs 22:6

Who’s in Charge?

I had the privilege to student teach in a small town near Lubbock. It was the first time that Tech had sent students to surrounding communities. Joe Wood was the superintendent and was a genuine man of God. He left a much better job in San Antonio because God told him to move to West Texas. I learned so much from him about dedication and integrity.

I loved the system and applied for a job. When I interviewed for a job, he told me, “I don’t have a job for you, but let’s pray about it.” And we kneeled in his office and did just that. That was the last I heard about the position until Joe invited the four students in our group to a board meeting at the end of student teaching to discuss our experience. He explained the protocol, and then told me, “Jan, you won’t be able to stay for the business meeting since we are voting on hiring you.”

I saw Joe live his faith at church and work, but one of my fondest memories was the night of a band concert. We had revival services at church, and Joe told the band director he needed to schedule the concert after church that evening.

I was helping the band director set up for the concert. We were both first- year teachers, and he went on and on about how inconvenient it was to have the concert at 8:00 in the evening. I will never forget his words, “This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Who’s running this school anyway, God or Joe Wood?”

Suddenly there was the greatest rumble of thunder and lightning flash that filled the band hall. We both stood in shock, and the band director turned to me and said, “Forget I asked!”

Everything Joe Wood did was God-led, and he made no apologies for his beliefs. He was a dedicated and regular member at his church; he was approachable as a boss: and he was fair as a parent when I taught both his children. I married and moved on, but I never forgot this incredible man. After a while he moved on to an executive position at a small Baptist college, but I never forgot his witness and belief in an all-powerful God who directed our paths.

Joe passed away in the mid -70s. In the thirty-four years I taught, I worked for some good men, but this man left an impression that’s lasted fifty years. I feel sure that when he reached heaven, “God said, Well done.”

I’ve thought about that question in the band hall several times over the years. In my life, actions, work, and relationships – who’s in charge? Me? Or God? I challenge you to ask the same question yourself. In the still quiet moment, will you hear the roar of thunder? I long for that affirmation that others can see Jesus in me.

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.”

Proverbs 3:3 NIV

Let Change Begin with Us

This post has been on my mind for several weeks, and while I know it is controversial, I think it is relevant in today’s turbulent times.

In 1949, Rogers and Hammerstein collaborated on the script and music for the movie South Pacific. A romantic musical, the story centers around two couples from different backgrounds, races, and nationalities who struggle with the fact that they are falling in love. The premise of the story is that people are not born with prejudices, but that society quickly teaches us to be afraid of those who are different from us, whether it is skin color, ancestry, religion, or background. This is highlighted in the controversial song from the movie, “You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught.

When my children were little, our family made friends with a family from West Africa. Their little boy was the same age as our youngest son, so I babysat several times. The incident that stands out in my mind took place on the Fourth of July. The parents had a company picnic, so my husband and I took the children to a chicken drive-through to pick up lunch. I had both boys on my lap in the front seat (a long time before car seats) – one fair, one dark.

My five-year-old daughter leaned out the window and said proudly, “One of these isn’t our baby!”

The man serving us smiled and replied, “I bet I know which one.”

My daughter was surprised at his reply and said, “You do?”

You see, she had no idea. The boys were just the same – two babies who played at her house and didn’t clean up after themselves. Her innocent eyes did not recognize color. No one had ever taught her that the boys were different in any way.

Isn’t that the way each of us should see each other?

We have no control over the color of our skin, how our eyes are shaped, or our genetic makeup. What we do control is the attitudes we form and the lessons we teach our children. We do not have to be indoctrinated by the media. We can move beyond bad experiences if we have been unfortunate enough to have one. A single unpleasant or threatening encounter does not make all encounters bad. We have the option to change our world by realizing that in the eyes of God, all lives matter. There has been enough pain brought on by teaching hate instead of love.

One of my favorite quotes was attributed to Peter Marshall, Chaplain to the United States Senate. “We have prayed and prayed that thou wilt do this and thou wilt do that. Help us to know that we, too, are part of the answer.” Change can happen. I challenge you to let the change begin with us.

In Acts 10:34-35, Peter declares: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right.” NIV

The Sixth Commandment

About the fourth year I taught school, the seniors decided to take a skip day. Only three of about thirty students came to school that day. Teenagers are sometimes unkind so I knew the class had not asked one of the two boys because he was not in their “group.” I decided to ask the other two why they had not gone.

One, a popular boy, said, “Awww, Mrs. Sims. I get in enough trouble on my own without inviting it.”

I have remembered the words of the young lady who was very much a part of the “group” and whose parents worked for the school. She simply said, “I would never embarrass my dad like that.”

I attempted to instill that in my own children, and for the most part, that was the standard they lived by. They are good words to live by. Honoring one’s father and mother is obviously so important to God that it is included in the ten commandments.

In this crazy COVID 19 world, that commandment may have more importance than ever before. Senior adults are closed off from the world they knew. Many do not leave their homes because the death rate for senior citizens has been so high. They are either wise or afraid. It’s not up to you to judge. Even if they leave their homes, they hunger for contact with their children or other caring young people.

Let me encourage you to honor your parents during this time. Visit if possible but use wise social distancing. Drop a card in the mail, but include a handwritten note. Pick up the phone and call because they long to hear your voice. Texting is the current means of communication, but nothing can replace the sound of a loved one’s voice. Invest in their lives as they invested in yours. And, if you know senior adults who have no family, even if no relation to you, practice kindness and reach out to them. Many of us were privileged to have these people as significant others in our lives.

As a side note, I have remained friends with the young woman mentioned above for a number of years. There is no greater example of how this commandment should be lived out. She still meets her parents’ needs and many of their wants forty years after that day in high school. She is one of my heroes.

“Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with promise. Ephesians 6:2 NIV

Finding Direction

One of the joys of my life is taking my grandchildren on a special trip each summer. We have taken most of our trips with three or more of the six boys, but we added our four year old granddaughter last year. In addition to Nana Camps, for their graduation. I took the two older boys on separate trips to Europe for a seven day cruise and a few days in Rome.

On the last day of my oldest grandson’s trip, we took a bus tour of Rome to see what we might have missed. It was a rushed day because they changed the itinerary at the last minute, but we were able to see most of the famous landmarks.

Our guide took the group to the square and gave us a specific time to be back. My grandson and I ran a few minutes late, and the group had disappeared. We were stranded in the center of a city where no one spoke our language, and all our belongings were on the bus which had left us.

To say it was stressful was an understatement. Two people who had not spoken a cross word to each other in ten days were suddenly at each other’s throats. We both had an opinion about where we were supposed to meet the group, and neither proved correct. My grandson ran back to where the bus let us off, but it was not there. Nor, was it where I thought it would be.

Tempers flared and in our frustration, some angry words were exchanged. Finally, I snapped, “You would never talk to your dad that way.”

I will remember his reply until the day I die. “My dad would not be lost!”

There was no arguing with that statement. His dad would have mapped out every step and would never have been lost. He would have even had an alternate plan or two in case of an emergency.

Our story had a happy ending. We found a bus driver who spoke enough English to connect us with our bus, and eventually,we had a great story to tell.

But, all good stories have a moral. It struck me if that is true of an earthly father, how much more true is it of our Heavenly Father. God knew us before we were born and has plotted our steps since before our first breath. If we seek His direction in our lives, we can be certain, “My Father is not lost.”

In our darkest moments, God provides a light for our steps. He is only a prayer away. While his answer is not always what we would choose, we are told over and over in His Word of His great love for us. He cares too much for His children to leave them lost and alone.

Not all of us have been blessed with an wonderful earthly father as my grandson has been. However, regardless of our circumstances, we can be assured our Heavenly Father will never fail to guide our way..

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9 NIV