“Love is”– “Ice cream? Candy?’ A question the love doctor can answer? Those answers come from a Shriner’s Hospital commercial, but how do you define love? Not just any love, but the kind of love that survives a tragedy, COVID, heartbreak, a power outage, or an empty nest.
If you ask young people, their list often contains good looks, a great personality, good legs, athleticism, or several characteristics which fade with time: hair thins, bodies change, and energy wains. True love withstands the changes brought about by time. True love looks beneath the surface to see the heart so that it can survive age, selfishness, neglect, busyness, and even long-term illness.
The person who says that love is a 50-50 proposition obviously has not stayed married for an extended period. Sometimes love is 70-30 or 30-70. Sometimes it is one person giving 100 percent because the other person is stretched so thin, he has nothing to provide to the relationship. The essential element is to know that true love comes from God. “A Cord of three strands can not be broken.”
After fifty years of marriage, I can genuinely say I have been in all these situations. During COVID, I have found myself in limited contact with others. My husband has a lung condition that could cause his death if he caught the virus. On the other hand, he has tolerated my times of depression and/or frustration during this crazy period.
We have seen each other through work challenges, the throes of raising three children, and the effects of aging. We have been on both ends of the giving spectrum. We have discovered that love is not always easy, but we have found it worth the effort.
Robert Browning wrote, “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.” For the most part, I have found that to be a sweet promise.
As you examine your own definition of love, remember that you must look beyond the surface and find the things which will last no matter what experiences you encounter along the way. The Apostle Paul presents a stringent standard in 1 Corinthians 13,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthian 13:4-8
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